The crazy story of zebras La Paz

For: Enrique Vaquerizo (text and photos)
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The year I lived in La Paz, la sombra del monte Illimani me arropaba las noches y los quiosqueros vociferantes me jaraneban las mañanas. Uno se levantaba con las pestañas de plomo, surf crashing against the wall, to see how the city sun suddenly you fell on the bleak certainty of not having slept more than a couple of hours.

In La Paz no sleep, al menos no se duerme bien en el sentido de que hay mucha altura y sobre todo hay muchos bares, y los bares hacen mucho ruido y a veces uno hasta entra y entonces no sabe bien cuando va a salir. The Flor de Caña is entangled between the legs you mordisqueándote playful bass pants until you look at the clock and see that you only have three hours to go to Curran.

It was a fiesta Paris, La Paz especially in his morning was a wake

It was a fiesta Paris, La Paz especially in his morning was a wake. One stood in a small stall for breakfast one Salta and saw a procession of corpses. Yes exquisite corpses, UN workers young, cooperating thousand mothers and embassies trastabillaban fellows like zombies through the streets of the city diligent and responsible. The future of the First World, the cream of young European professional. Some were handled with the same vigor at that time, como si en vez de ir a la oficina acabasen de salir del after. Teníamos puestos de tan alta responsabilidad y había que tomárselo tan en serio que de lunes a viernes decidimos pasarnos todo el año borrachos.

We greeted each other with slight inclinations, a veces volvíamos discretamente la cabeza, shame because the young dressed and seriote, clean, of good family and crossing Madrid now by your side, just hours before it was a UN official unbridled dancing atop a bar stool. If you were with friends the matter was different, te saludabas con efusión y te parabas en la esquina a olisquearte las heridas ¿Pero bueno y tú cuanto has dormido? Le soltabas between envy and pity, Turning were saying, - This fine today goes to the job, safe brawl! And life was going well. Under these conditions cross 70 meters that separated my house from the office, became a real odyssey. Enfrentar dos avenidas infernales como dragones enfurecidos atestadas del variopinto tráfico paceño podía resultar algo absolutamente desolador según en qué días y condiciones.

Correteaba por la acera buscando desesperadamente un lugar donde tuviese al menos un 10% chance of preserving life across

Recuerdo que era mi segundo día de trabajo, went to the office and jovial and expansive, corriendo directamente desde algún bar, when trying to cross the street, I was shocked, paralyzed, unable to dive into that nonsense rolling. As it gets your foot in the water to see if it's cold, correteaba por la acera buscando desesperadamente un lugar donde tuviese al menos un 10% chance of preserving life across. After ten minutes of skipping ridiculous sunglasses with nose drops to, dark circles and showing the size of a condor, las cholitas que vendían maní en la esquina comenzaron a menear sus cabezas entristecidas cerciorándose de que estaban delante de otro kara (target) obvious signs of mental retardation.

When I was considering a dignified exit, or the ability to call the official to say he was sick and on my second day, a pair of shadows suddenly attacked me from behind and grabbed me by the armpits. - "Go, which lacked, express kidnapping hangover breakfast!, ¡Y sólo llevo dos días!- I thought with resignation. Estaba preparando la cartera y las excusas para decir que me lo había gastado todo en cuba libres, when I looked at my captors, I crawled toward suicide and runaway insurance paceño traffic.

But seem real or at least as real as it may seem a zebra that moves on two legs

And there were; Enormes, alegres y rayadas…¡Dos cebras! At that moment my life and spent all past sins. There had to be very good to have that bundled delirium tremens at nine o'clock. But seem real or at least as real as it may seem a zebra that moves on two legs. Sintiéndome como en Mogambo opté por dirigirme a la de mi derecha -Pero tío…¡Tu eres una cebra! Las cebras se pararon y por un momento no supieron si reírse o darme una coz allí mismo. Al final agarrándome cada una de un brazo decidieron ayudarme a cruzar la calle. And so, cantando el Hakuna Matata, went dodging combis, Bikes, camiones y demás artefactos del demonio dejándome sano y salvo al otro lado y lanzándome un beso con sus pezuñas al despedirse.

Terrified I got to work still feeling my neurons, In La Paz, There zebras! Anuncié triunfante al entrar. My boss, a Chilean seventy years was beginning to suspect that he had slipped into the office a horse full of Greeks, looked at me sternly - What you say crap Vaquerizo?,- That yes, majísimas two zebras that have helped me to cross the street, I swear!-When she was already Aerosur calling to ask about the first flight back to Madrid, my fellow Bolivians interceded and explained that in effect in La Paz had zebras.

Jóvenes estudiantes de la escuela de teatro de la ciudad regulaban disfrazados de cuadrúpedos todos los días el desastroso tráfico de la ciudad

The mayor of La Paz as a measure to make the traffic-respecting pedestrians and crosswalks had decided that these would .... Yes, Vap readers have guessed what, nothing better than a real zebras. Así pues jóvenes estudiantes de la escuela de teatro de la ciudad regulaban disfrazados de cuadrúpedos todos los días el desastroso tráfico de la ciudad. In striped couples almost always saw them by the Santa Isabel, the 20 de Octubre o el Prado deteniendo a los coches, haciendo morisquetas y ayudando a cruzar la calle a ancianitas y jóvenes profesionales curdas y desamparados.

A partir de aquel día en mañanas particularmente difíciles me paraba en la acera, well my pants fit, put hands on hips and waited contact savior of my beloved equines. Then, me dejaba mecer por ellos dulcemente mientras los camiones rugían a nuestro paso como fieros leones del Serengueti y yo con el corazón exultante de dicha y alivio entonaba a pleno pulmón, ¡Hakuna Matata, without worrying about is how to live ...!

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Comments (4)

  • Ann

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    You're great, Enrique. You've left me speechless with smile… jajaaja

    Answer

  • Enrique Vaquerizo

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    Thank you Ana!

    Answer

  • Lydia

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    But what good story! I laughed a lot. It is surreal.
    By the way it accounts, I can imagine the face of your boss, the eyes of the people in the street, what you going through my head….
    It is a pleasure to read your stories.

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