I was silent to live in New York. Another old start after another old end. There are many, followed. At the beginning of April I moved to New York. I feel the wheel hamster, The gum in the mouth, The storm's scrambled air. Constant movement. Happiness and lack of control. There are no commas, There are points on that trip.
I started understanding how it works in Mexico, in 2019, After living four years there. Until then, After five years between South Africa and Mozambique, I didn't know that most of the farewells are an affectionate "until ever" that are pronounced with a "see you later". Neither parties knows, Neither party wants, But you forget even to forget them and they forget that they forgot you. And now it's another. Bangkok ends. And weigh both the previous goodbye given and illustrate the hello new to distribute.
Over the years I have understood that life has a lot of that dual Chinese yang that governs everything. The best of my life is, From that March of 2010 that I left Spain, Having turned my house into a suitcase, cornering the routine, surprise me a lot and have known dozens of interesting people with their exotic lives and their strange accents. But it turns out that the worst of my life is The laziness of duty to explain any last story from the beginning and lacking friends you want very much although maybe you don't like. You don't spend that new because there is an age where friendship no longer lends itself.
There is an age where friendship no longer lends itself
Recently someone at Bangkok asked me where I would live if I had to choose just one site. I was deployed in my head a Mapamundi and I started to wander around him. I started to babble names: Mexico City, Namibia, Bangkok, Vilankulos, Rome, Tuscany, Madrid, Cape Town, Sicily, Cabo de Gata, Lisbon ... and the guy looked at me and told me, “Of, But choose a site. Where is your home?”. And I stayed and understood that I have no.
And that makes and upset, As annoying to say goodbye to a life that you knew ephemeral before coming and that just for that you have started it. I did not start to install where I was going, I left to be able to go. And there I pay some toll that I did not know then.
Not only do you leave friends. Every time you go, you say goodbye to your supermarket, Your subway card, The application of food at home, The physiotherapist, Your phone number, Know the time it takes to the airport by taxi, The park where you are going to run, The doctor's waiting room ... your new comfort zone fades suddenly.
The main concern is starting from scratch and finding a good hairdresser
At the beginning all that are conquest. Suddenly you finally have an account at the bank, And you discover where they sell good bread, And you don't have to look at the map again to understand where to get off the lightsh. Sometimes that costs more and sometimes it costs less. It's something you built alone, that cost you to strengthen, Until suddenly one morning you start saying goodbye to little about everything. You see people and places that will continue there with their routines that were yours. You retain them in memory with lies, that lasts a plane flight, to pretend to continue being part of them.
And not, All that suddenly disappears when you land in a strange place where the main concern is starting from scratch and finding a good hairdresser. That process is very funny. The day to day is what happens in that hairdresser; The other is a bubble, smaller but real too, of adventures and anecdotes. Living in diverse places is a challenge, And the challenges, At least to me, They entertain me much more than certainties.
I was very marked by the movie "A place in the world". It is a HispanoArgentino film of 1992 that divags about that idea of ??getting to a place and feeling that from there you can no longer go. I have not found it, Maybe because I have found many and that, in the end, becomes not found any. A place in the world I made it a mantra that is very present in my life. I think I'm unable to find it because what I like is to look for it. Search without a purpose is boring. Find, also.
Search without a purpose is boring. Find, also
You leave each country with an agenda increasingly filled in its last pages. That is magnificent. I have a trail of interesting people that I have met through the world. Generally the one who has had the courage to reinvent his life and go far has a story to listen. They are not necessarily winning, The networks there lie teaching scripts that camouflage lives, but They are people who know how strong.
They imagined that there was a better possible life, And her courage was to try to make her real at the risk of being lost and alone. The restlessness is fucked to manage, Diseaser with helplessness is a nightmare. The possible loneliness generates fear, And many prefer the certainty of feeling comfortable in their accompanied sadness. Or maybe it's not sadness, It is not happiness, that is the same but not the same.
And you leave an agenda that, by contrast, slimming at the beginning, where are contacts with telephone number without pre -prefix. They left without making noise. There are no farewells, There is carelessness. The process is a communicating glass. One grows and the other decreases. Not that they push themselves to make room, is that there is a point where the Catalejo does not reach.
Not all that long list of previous friends disappears. Some are still very present. There is a greater rhythm of calls, of messages, of networks in networks… It turns out that they travel to common places, or work is a conductive thread, or the knot was stronger.
They left without making noise. There are no farewells, There is carelessness.
And others are suddenly a casual encounter that dusts the love in a drawer. Some is already so far that, how happened to me in 2023 In the Kandy Botanical Garden, Sri Lanka, You are a friend from Cape Cabo, who you don't see from 2010, and you recognize a name without a name. You hurry, You give a hug, You speak in pronoun, And you think, «Cujo how could I forget what it was called?«.
The friendship that does not perish is a trade, The memory of a love to work. You communicate with them just like you blow in the fragile flame of a bonfire so that there is fire.
I'm leaving with Bangkok penalty. I have been very happy, With their best and worse days, here. From this part of the world I have learned a lot. I will tell it in another post. The farewell is this time different from those first goodbye parties that ended with group photos and many plans to make. Today I know that many of the people I have met here, that for a while they have become indispensable in the dinners on Saturdays and Tuesday of tennis, To those who right now I consider friends with whom I share certain confidences, I will give you a hug, And we will tell each other after we both know that it is probably a. And it's fine, There is no other, so it must be.
