I had ten minutes before picking up my daughter and I walked into a crowded cafe, one of those modern cafes that serve medium cold and expensive coffee and everything they sell has avocado. Even pretzels are stuffed with avocado. They also have these long tables where you sit next to strangers and end up listening to other people's conversations that you shouldn't and, in the end, you leave there doubly stressed, but it is the only cafe in that area and my alternative is to wait standing in the street while snowflakes begin to fall.
I sat down and drank the coffee in one gulp to prevent it from getting any colder than it already was and started reading a book.. Then, a woman of about 45 years he asked me if he could sit in front of me. Clear, I. Beside us, A mother let her baby destroy a piece of cake and two American women were checking one of their Tinder and scrolling through profiles with the speed of someone who knows perfectly well who they are looking for. The woman in front did the same thing as me: drink your coffee quickly before taking out a notebook and starting to write as if your life depended on it.
We were not in the most idyllic environment for writing or reading.. I gave up first; I put the book down and looked around., especially the woman who wrote, who at one point raised her head and surprised me looking at her and her notebook. He looked me in the eyes for a long time and then smiled and said it had been a long week.. I nodded. This week I discovered that my gray hair is starting to appear., I have had a scientific article accepted in a prestigious journal (with peer review, Q1), and my daughter asked me what sadness is made of and if it is made of a different material than fear, and that is one of those questions that must be taken more seriously than gray hair and scientific articles and the geopolitical disaster that surrounds us.. But I didn't say that to the stranger..
I just told him:
Yes.
And she didn't look away.
And then I asked him what had happened to him that week..
And he told me that the chickpeas had exploded in the microwave and that he couldn't clean it properly.. And he told me that fruit hadn't tasted like fruit in a long time.. And he told me that everything was fine, actually. Ah, and that he had signed the divorce papers.
I told him that in DM, one of the German stores par excellence, I had found an oven and microwave cleaning spray that worked well. And what congratulations. He smiled at me and continued writing..
I closed the book and stood up. I put on a sweater first. The Americans kept going, discarding shirtless kids. Then I put on a jacket and scarf. The baby had destroyed his mother's cake, but I was happy. I put on my coat and hat, and the gloves.
"I can't wait for spring," I whispered..
And the Americans looked up at the same time as the woman writing and at the same time as the baby and its mother., and everyone except the baby said: "Yes, yes, "I'm looking forward to spring.". One of the Americans said that the extreme cold would return this week and I said not to worry., that in general spring always began in March, and that March still existed, and I thought it would be great if it continued to exist if Trump stopped playing at making the entire world disappear..
The woman who wrote said:
—Thank you for this moment.
"Thanks to you," I replied..
Pbecause an anti-personnel mine seriously injured him. Because he has seen companions die. Because you've had your heart broken a few times. And, even so, He is still a guy with generosity intact
And when I went out into the street it was already dark and I felt scared and I didn't know why.. I saw I had a message from my friend Jochen, who is the most German of all the Germans I know. He is also a combat leader, pilot and paratrooper trainer at military school (as well as a beekeeper in his free time). He is the right person that anyone would need by their side in case of fear. Of rational or irrational fear in any of its intensities. Because an anti-personnel mine seriously injured him. Because he has seen companions die. Because you've had your heart broken a few times. And, even so, He is still a guy with intact generosity and the conviction that he wants to witness the fear of others, because he knows how to alleviate it.
"I'll answer you in a moment.", "I get on the plane to jump with a parachute.", he said like someone says: “now I'm back, "I'm going to take a shower.".
A little later I received some photos of terrible quality that I had taken while jumping into the void. I thought they were very beautiful.
So I asked him:
—Oye, hears, listen to me, Jochen, What do you do when the people you train are terribly afraid before jumping??
—Understand that any attempt to reason does not work against fear. Then, the only thing a person recognizes is your tone of voice, not what you say, So that's what I use to calm and accompany," he said..
—And you are no longer afraid when you jump??
"No," he said.. Because I recognize and accept the risks. And I recognize and value my experience.
-So, what scares you?
—The spiders, clear.
And it made me laugh so much that my fear disappeared without a sound..
I went to sleep that night thanking life very strongly for the beauty of people.. The beauty of the known and the unknown. The next morning I had breakfast with my daughter and told her that we would find the answer to her question together.. And I told him that perhaps fear is made up of many “what ifs.”?” and the sadness of excess of “not anymore”.
—I mean what do you know, mom. I imagine that sadness tastes like sweetness that ends and that fear tastes like medicine.
—And what does happiness taste like?? —I asked him.
“Fried egg with potatoes,” he answered with all the conviction in the world..
I agreed with that.
(Soon I will publish a book-notebook in which I collect a thousand fears and a thousand ways in which the people around me are beautiful. And a thousand ways to fall, also. And about how to travel without losing your way, but keeping in mind that the important thing is also in the ditch and in the closed paths. And about friendship and love. About that, above all.)
